Year-In-Review

When I look back on first year of college, the biggest concept of personal growth that comes to mind is making use of my time. In high school, I had time to do just about anything I wanted. I realized that was not going to be the case in college. Being mindful of how much time I have in my day to engage in personal endeavors was tricky. It was so tricky because I did not come to the realization that in order to do what you love, you have to make the time for it. While lying in bed trying to fall asleep, the thought that I had not really done anything I found fun or engaging all day crossed my mind just about every night. I was so confused as to why I could not just sit down and pick up a book or instrument and start reading or start strumming. Eventually, I realized that I did not have time because I did not make time. In order to move forward, I had to fully immerse in everything I did during the day. If I was doing homework, it had to be just homework and no distractions. Once I started implementing more discipline and routine in my life, I was able to make the time I thought could never exist. I have always been a big procrastinator, so this was no easy feat for me. I still struggle with being fully present in what I am doing, but at least I now know what it feels like to be fully immersed in what I am doing. So many tasks I had to complete took me hours to finish just because starting them was so difficult for me and I would often get distracted (meaning I had to start up on them multiple times). The hardest part is starting, and it is a nice reminder that if I can get whatever I need to get done, then I will have time to read a book or go for a walk. What helps me out a lot is drawing upon past experiences; if I am struggling to get something done, I just think back to a moment where I have been able to complete something I convinced myself I was incapable of. It is also helpful to have a community to fall back on. My roommate and I keep each other accountable and have fun while doing it. For example, we both took part in a challenge we called "Every day push up challenge" where we just did a push up at least once a day whenever we were bored. Little pacts with friends can give you the extra push to keep working towards your goals.

Second Year!

Third Year!

Going into my third year of school, I had heard that the third year is the most challenging year; I have to admit, it was definitely the case for me. However, even though the classes were difficult and time consuming, I learned a lot and genuinely enjoyed most of the material that was covered. Outside of classes, I have been participating in the Health Care Explorers program since last year. Out of curiosity, I decided to try out working at the psychiatric hospital through the program. I was opened up to a whole new world of patient care that comes with a different type of challenge than is presented at the main hospital. I loved the opportunity to work directly with the patients for long periods of time and to create spaces for them to feel comfortable and relaxed. This experience was not only transformative for personal reasons, but also in professional terms. I was able to see the amazing world of psychiatry while recognizing some of the challenges that affect patient outcomes. Honestly, before starting to work there, I had made assumptions about how it would go and I had scared myself before even going into my first shift. I had created a false reality around how the patients at the psychiatric hospital would act. I am really glad I was able to work in an environment like that and prove my anxious thoughts wrong. I have genuinely enjoyed my time working at the psychiatric hospital and feel happy about the connections I have created with the patients during their stay, even if they are simply transient. It makes me glad to know that I was able to provide patients with a fun activity in an environment where they are always treated with dignity and respect. It was also a challenge to balance the time I spent working and studying with the time where I do things that better me in aspects outside of school. I feel that this is a problem I have every year: I spend so much time on work and school that I have no time left for myself. Personally, this is simply not sustainable there were times were I felt really burnt out and like I just could not do anything. I think this reality is more common than people make it out to be. Even when I try to be intentional with my time and I carve out even just thirty minutes to take a walk, do yoga, or climb, it feels like too much time away from studying. Now that I am on my summer break, I want to be intentional about the free time I have. I will continue to work at the psychiatric hospital and will be studying for an exam, but I want to create a schedule that allows me to enjoy myself as well. Hopefully, practicing that over the summer will help me transfer it over into the fall and spring semesters!